smitten with suki and with fall

a little before dusk tonight, fall will be upon us. officially.

i might have to pick up a few of these perfectly simple suki candleholders from crate and barrel to autumnify my balcony - i love the idea of the candlelight dancing around the gold walls. (thanks to happy mundane and his fab blog for the heads up).

there is no greater feeling, to my mind, than the brisk cool of a fall night, rediscovering a non-summer outdoor world. it is my favorite time of year, hands-down, full of new possibilities and feelings. at the same time, it's a return to feelings i've had all my life, and a history of things that have come with fall...reconnecting with friends (used to be in school, now just because social calendars open up), lots of family gatherings (for the jewish holidays and thanksgiving). also, mitchell and i started our relationship in the fall, got engaged the next fall, and married two falls after that. so there's that.

of course, bad things have happened in the fall too - 9/11 was of course in the fall, and last fall mitchell lost his job just as we were celebrating our first anniversary, last week my grandmother passed away (more on that later), and george w. bush was elected as president in TWO different falls.

but i digress...part of the loveliness of any season is that it always comes again, bringing new feelings of happiness and expectancy with it. no matter what happens in the world, the seasons pass and bring with them all the unique joys and gifts that each season holds. each time it comes, there is potential, and a chance to deepen one's connection to and appreciation of that season. and it's a worthy endeavor - it is always one season or another, and joy can be taken from just the simple fact of the season. it's a bounty that nature offers us and it is something for which i am incredible grateful, because in every season, i have that "favorite season" feeling. but really, fall is my favoritest favorite.

i think particularly as we change over the years, we discover more about each season we value. someone who never really cared much for pumpkin picking might find new delight when doing it with a special child they love. and someone who never much cared for planting mums might take new pleasure when it's for an elderly loved one who smiles because the color is outside her window. to keep giving ourselves those chances to evolve, we're taking part in the cyclical nature of the seasons themselves.

but alas, the realities of a dire economy and a reduction in consumerism work against the idea of being present in the current season, and by that i mean that target has christmas merchandise out already. yeah.

but i will not let them take fall from me. LET GO OF MY FALL.

i WILL get my fill of browns, reds, golds and oranges. i WILL go apple picking and enjoy hot cider. i WILL buy mums, possibly even the ones with the cattails planted in the center. i WILL wear a jean jacket and some of my favorite ponchos. and hear me, target, i WILL buy and display in my home something in the gourd or squash family. i'm thinking of going with the cream ones this year.

okay i'm done. happy fall.

suki photo from www.crateandbarrel.com