a new beginning

we're getting kittens!

we're picking them up tonight, and i could not be more excited. i have been saving the tops of milk jugs for months, knowing that cats love playing with things like that.

even mitchell, who was slightly resistant to the idea of two is really happy about it now. we don't know what they'll look like yet, or even what gender they'll be, so we don't have names picked out, though we've tossed around a few ideas. mitchell's top pick is "bubbles." really?

since we made the kitten plan earlier this week, we've been prepping, and my feelings have been mostly of excitement and the unique joy of anticipated happiness. it has been only a fleeting thought that our sweet cat abe who died over the winter might feel replaced. now of course i know he probably doesn't feel anything, especially now that he's no longer alive, but i can't help but feeling a little melancholy about him watching over us as we get two new kittens to love.

mitchell and i have talked a few times about how we would never get an orange cat again - we only want to love one orange cat in this life, and that was abe. and we don't want our memories of him to ever blend in with our memories of another loved cat. it's a funny thing, moving on. there's a part of me that is almost afraid to love a new cat (or two, in our case) because i'm afraid of comparing them in my mind. i keep telling myself i won't do that and that there is no comparison, that every animal is different, no two are alike.

what i am realizing though, is that while every animal is different, our love for them is in many ways the same. our relationships are not as complex as they are with people, and in that way, while lost pets don't get replaced, i think in a way our relationships with them are a thread that's continued through all the pets we have in our lives. in a way, mitchell and i will pick up with the new kittens where we left off with abe - and i hope we do. i hope we can apply all the lessons we learned in abe's final days about compassion and selflessness and mercy.

and i hope that if abe is watching over us, he knows that my love for him is what has brought us to the decision to get two more, and that my love for him is what makes me already love the kittens i've yet to meet.


kittens in basket from www.great-pictures-of-cats.com (yes, there's a website called that)