the great unknown

i love this photo from photographer lauren brooks. i feel like it really captures a sense of wonder and curiosity about what lies ahead. i remember a sad time in my life where my father did his best to convince me that one day i would see the uncertainty and not knowing of life to be the most exciting part, which seemed ridiculous and highly unlikely to me at the time. this year is really the first time i've ever believed that, at least as an adult, probably largely because of my decision to have weight loss surgery and all the changes and possibilities it brings with it.

do you feel excited by the unknown? scared? hopeful?

take care

when we were growing up, my sister molly was really neat and i was quite the opposite. she took good care of all her things, kept a tidy room and regularly dusted the dashboard of her car when she got one. my room and my car were both train wrecks. like, scary. think tunnels to walk through.

since then, i've improved quite a bit - i've learned the pleasures of a clean space, and i believe in the link between positive self-care and caring for your surroundings. so it always makes me smile when i sit across from this one woman on the train. she meticulously goes through the same routine each time she settles in. she sorts through her bag, putting things where they belong...she applies her makeup and handcream, wiping off each bottle and tube before putting it away. then she takes out her sunglasses and cleans them carefully. the care she uses with everything she owns reminds me of a little girl who takes impeccable care of her dolls, and as an adult, i respect it because i believe it connects to the way we care for ourselves.

i try to remember the examples of the train lady and my sister as i go through the world with all my stuff. i try to respect the money spent on things, the time spent creating them and my own enjoyment of owning them. all those things warrant extra care in their care.

image

a cup half full

last night i had my first-ever experience formal meditation. i went to a wonderful studio called om sweet om (obsessed with that name) where i plan on starting yoga as well.

overall, it was a great experience - it was a reiki healing circle, and not knowing much about reiki at all, i definitely got a taste of what it's about. i have to say the reiki part didn't speak to me as much as the meditation we started and ended with, but i was happy to have the experience and feel good that i'm opening up to new things. and i think like anything in the spiritual realm, it must take time, practice and patience, so i would be open to trying the reiki again.

then this morning i read this in a meditation book my father bought me:

in buddhism the ideal new student is likened to a tea-cup half full. the full tea-cup can contain no more and the cracked tea-cup will simply lose all that has been poured into it.

it brings to mind something my new friend rachel once said: "remain teachable." so important, so totally crucial, don't you think?

i love that. and it's exactly how i feel right now...open to new possibilities, but not without my own wisdom and spirituality at this moment in time. half full. i feel ready to embrace new beginnings and hope and grounded in who i am today and yesterday, eagerly awaiting who i'll be tomorrow.

in the interest of having my outside match my inside, something i've been working towards for some time, i want to share that i will be having surgery next week - gastric bypass - and will have much to share on my thoughts and feelings someday. while i'm gone, some new posts will go up, and some vintage honey living that i think you might enjoy.

but for now, and as they say in reiki, "just for today," i will leave you with these quotes which have been inspiring me for a while, and especially right now. i hope they're meaningful to you as well.

and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - anais nin

when you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: there will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly. - patrick overton

may the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being. may you walk through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life. – apache blessing

image from feel karma